The Secretary: Power, Play, and the Art of Submission
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 8/10 Sensual & Subversive
“Discover the intriguing intersection of control and desire in The Secretary, where the boundaries of a seemingly ordinary office romance are pushed to new extremes.”
The Secretary
The Secretary (2002) explores the evolving dynamic between a submissive secretary, Lee Holloway, and her demanding, dominant boss, Mr. Grey. Directed by Steven Shainberg, the film delves into the emotional and psychological interplay of dominance and submission, offering a nuanced take on power and intimacy in BDSM relationships.
Plot Summary
The story follows Lee Holloway, a young woman just released from a mental institution, who begins work as a secretary for a demanding lawyer, E. Edward Grey. What starts as a conventional professional relationship quickly spirals into something more as the two engage in a D/s (dominant/submissive) work relationship. Lee finds fulfilment in submitting to Mr. Grey, and the film tracks her journey of self-discovery through this unconventional dynamic.
Themes
At its heart, The Secretary is a story of self-acceptance, intimacy, and trust within the framework of BDSM. The film explores how Lee’s need for control through submission allows her to regain a sense of identity and empowerment. It touches on themes of psychological healing, the importance of communication, acceptance and the line between healthy and unhealthy dominance.
Cinematic Style and Symbolism
The film’s quirky visual design and use of close-ups effectively capture the intimacy and psychological complexity of Lee and Grey’s relationship. The office setting, typically a symbol of professionalism, is reimagined as a space for exploring intricate power dynamics. Within this environment, even orchids flourish, a notoriously delicate plant that serves as a metaphor for Grey’s meticulous attention to detail and his deep care for the things he values.
The film’s symbolism is thoughtfully handled; Lee’s self-harm and her journey into submission mirror her path toward emotional healing and self-acceptance. Through these elements, the film delicately portrays how vulnerability and control can coexist, shaping the characters’ inner worlds, much like the delicate orchids that thrive under Grey’s careful attention.
Memorable Scenes
One of the most memorable scenes is when Lee first begins receiving “corrections” from Mr. Grey. The intensity of their office interactions, which would seem inappropriate in a standard professional setting, becomes a catalyst for Lee’s transformation, as she learns to embrace her own self and desires rather than be ashamed of them.
Performance and Direction
Maggie Gyllenhaal gives an exceptional performance as Lee Holloway, balancing vulnerability and strength in her portrayal of a woman discovering her true self. James Spader is equally compelling as Mr. Grey, bringing a quiet intensity to the role of a man conflicted by his own desires. Shainberg’s direction is sharp and delicate, blending dark humour with erotic tension, creating a tone that is both unsettling, tender and memorable.
While The Secretary offers a thoughtful exploration of a consensual BDSM relationship, certain scenes, particularly those involving self-harm, may be unsettling for some viewers. The film walks a fine line between the erotic and the disturbing, with its treatment of power dynamics sparking debate over boundaries and the ethical nuances of BDSM practices.
Though Lee is presented as a real and vulnerable character, the inclusion of self-harm can feel unnecessary within the story’s context. It raises the troubling implication that one must be damaged or have a history of abuse to possess submissive fantasies. This implication is not mirrored in Spader’s character, whose dominance is portrayed without a similarly fraught back-story. The film, therefore, seems to suggest it’s acceptable to be dominant but problematic to be submissive, prompting the question: why must submissiveness come with a prerequisite of trauma? Can a character not simply be inherently submissive without such a history? This narrative may send the wrong message, overshadowing the film’s otherwise beautiful handling of power exchange, at least until the final scene.
Caution: Spoilers ahead!
One can’t help but wish the film had ended a minute sooner. The closing moments, featuring the squashed insect in the bed, seem to sanitise the story for a broader audience, implying a dream-like explanation similar to Bobby Ewing’s infamous return in Dallas. Suddenly, Gyllenhaal’s character appears to be the one truly in control, a stark contrast to the stunning submission she displayed, following Spader’s instructions to the point of urination, starvation and exhaustion.
So, which is it?
Why must the Male/female Dom/sub dynamic so often be resolved by ultimately placing the submissive female in control? Gyllenhaal’s final stare, exaggerated to the point of melodrama, shifts the film from cinematic brilliance to something resembling a 6th form college production. This moment undermines everything that preceded it, posing the question: Does this conclusion defeat the purpose of the entire narrative?
“I’m Your Secretary” ~ Lee Holloway
Pros and Cons
Pros:
Exceptional performances by Maggie Gyllenhaal and James Spader.
A nuanced and tender exploration of real BDSM and power exchange.
Dark humour balanced with psychological depth.
Thoughtful depiction of personal growth and acceptance through submission.
Cons:
Some disturbing content, including depictions of self-harm.
The balance between eroticism and discomfort might not resonate with all viewers.
Certain scenes can feel overly stylised, pulling viewers out of the emotional core of the film.
Reel Rating
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ 8/10 Sensual & Subversive
The Secretary is a bold and intimate look at the dynamics of power, submission, and love. Its thought-provoking exploration of BDSM, combined with superb performances, earns it a solid 8/10. A few elements may be unsettling for some, but its emotional resonance makes it a standout film in the genre.
Kink Rating
💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋 8/10 Provocative & Playful
The Secretary delivers a provocative and deeply emotional exploration of BDSM dynamics, with a particular focus on the power exchange between the dominant boss and his submissive secretary. While the film is tender and respectful in its portrayal of kink, it still holds a degree of commercial restraint, offering more psychological intimacy than graphic sexuality. The film’s depiction of power dynamics is thoughtful, and Lee’s growth as a person and her self-discovery through submission make it more than just a simple exploration of kink. The sexual intensity, while not explicit or over-the-top, is emotionally charged and genuinely moving, making it one of the more nuanced portrayals of BDSM in mainstream cinema. The film blends kink with a strong emotional core, creating a balance of tenderness and exploration of boundaries.
Final Verdict
🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎🍎 16/20 Decadent & Dangerous
The Secretary offers a unique, humanising look at BDSM relationships, going beyond the surface-level portrayal of dominance and submission. With a blend of humour, emotion, and psychological insight, the film provides a rich exploration of desire, control, and personal discovery. It’s a must-watch for those interested in alternative relationships or simply seeking a film that challenges conventional depictions of intimacy.
A Film For
Those looking to explore BDSM dynamics in an emotionally rich and psychologically complex way, without relying on explicit scenes.
Couples, throupples, triads or more, best enjoyed with a glass of wine or a collar, and some wrist restraints. The Secretary is the perfect kinky date-night film.
Anyone fascinated by the deep psychology of Dom/sub connection.
Those seeking fresh inspiration for power exchange dynamics, whether for a punishment book or a deeper understanding of submission as empowerment.
Lovers of unconventional romance that linger long after the credits roll. The Secretary isn’t just about kink, it’s about self-discovery and acceptance.
A Film Not For
Those expecting a theatrical, high-intensity display of physical BDSM, this is more about the emotional and psychological journey.
Viewers sensitive to themes of self-harm (though not depicted in a graphic way).
Anyone looking for a fast-paced, blockbuster-style film. The Secretary is slow-burning, intimate, and character-driven.
The Gilded Crop Award goes to: Maggie Gyllenhaal as Lee Holloway
Some performances transcend the screen, and Maggie Gyllenhaal’s portrayal of Lee Holloway in The Secretary is one of them. She brings an authenticity to submission rarely seen in mainstream cinema, delivering a performance that is vulnerable, raw, and deeply sensual. More than just a character, she embodies the quiet strength of a woman discovering and embracing her true nature. Without her, The Secretary would have been a different film entirely.
The Broken Paddle Award goes to: The Beetle
For a film that leans into true submission, The Secretary, in my view, makes one fatal misstep: suggesting Lee was in control all along. The symbolic beetle in the bed, while she waits for Edward to return, cheapens the power dynamic, hinting that she orchestrated the entire thing. This undermines the beauty of surrender, making it seem like her submission was just another form of control. In reality, true power exchange requires trust, not trickery. The beetle scuttles in and shatters what could have been a perfect ending.
Did You Know?
The Secretary was adapted from a short story by Mary Gaitskill, but the film's tone is much lighter and more romantic than the original work, which explored darker themes of power dynamics.
Related Films or Recommendations
If you enjoyed The Secretary, you might also appreciate 9½ Weeks, Blue Velvet, or The Duke of Burgundy, all of which explore complex power dynamics and unconventional relationships.
Drop a comment below and cast your vote! Want more deep dives into cinema’s sensual and subversive side? Stick around, there’s plenty more to come.
